Katie CardI mean, come on Toledo!!! I’ve been w/o a television set for 2 months now, and yet I can’t escape knowing every intimate detail regarding the Tom Cruise romance with Toledo native, Katie Holmes. Katie, with whom I’ve had the pleasure of spending a little time, is as sweet as she looks; adorable, bright, shy, funny… Tom, well, he’s a bit of a whack-job from what I can tell. Scientology… um… read this… I don’t know if it’s legit or not, but…well… yeah.

I don’t know what’s worse, the corruption of this adorable, innocent, bright young lady, or the reaction of a city with the worst self-image in America to the pre-nuptial bliss. Here’s a quote from today’s Toledo Blade:

“I think it’s kind of cool that they’re engaged. It’s like if Katie Holmes is dating Tom Cruise, then it’s like Toledo is dating Tom Cruise.” John Wiley, 24, who works in his father’s downtown law firm, said although he’s not shocked by the couple’s engagement, he is surprised by the news that Ms. Holmes is embracing Scientology, the religion Mr. Cruise practices.

Even Katie’s father, a Toledo lawyer, is in on the schmaltz-fest:

“Anybody that has been breathing for the last 20 years knows about Tom Cruise,” Marty Holmes said. “It’s a very exciting time for everybody. It’s an exciting time for Toledo.”

Tom and KatieSure, she had a poster of him in her bedroom growing up (If I hear THAT story one more time I may actually vomit), I’m sure she’s star-stricken. It’s fine that they’re dating, together, engaged, whatever… but is it really “an exciting time for Toledo???” Good Lord, people… An exciting time for Toledo would be the announcement that Toledo is no longer one of the unhealthiest communities in America, is no longer one of the top smoking cities in America. An exciting time for Toledo would have been if Owens Illinois had decided to STAY in the city, instead of moving to neighboring Perrysburg (of course, this was before the Cruise/Holmes news… maybe they’ll reconsider now, since it’s such a good thing for Toledo).

Katie PiggiesSo, do I wish them well? Sure… why not. I don’t have a problem with the age difference, the religious changes, the PDA… Love is love… it’s as close as we come to God in this life. I just wish Toledo wasn’t so damn pathetic throughout this whole thing though. Granted, I don’t live in Toledo, I don’t work in Toledo, but when someone from “not around here” asks where I live, I generally say, “NW Ohio, near Toledo.” Near in proximity, but thankfully, not so close when it comes to mindset!!